tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77277193256396245012024-03-05T10:08:31.997-08:00One Queer Femme AnatomyOne Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-45558593727130216622011-09-25T09:46:00.000-07:002011-09-25T15:34:09.423-07:00Death CafeI attended something called a 'Death Cafe' today. <br /><br />I was terrified at the concept of sitting in a room, with a random group of people I had never met, to talk about the one thing that terrifies me more than anything in the world - DEATH. I had been worrying about it quietly all week. <br /><br />A little background before I tell you of my experience - <br />I have always had an innate fear (and nobody really knows this) of dying. I have 'visions' every day, sometimes multiple ones in any given day, of my own death. They are often violent and abrupt, and I keep this to myself for fear of being judged a madman - so now I am coming out. I have had them for years, the first one I recall when I was only 13 in a Graphics Class at School - of a man breaking in and stabbing me. They are often horrific accidents where I witness my own death, and sometimes take me out of 'real space' for a few moments, to which I then return and try and sweep it under the carpet. In times of stress they worsen and become more frequent, and when I'm happy and life is plentiful they become less so. But they are ALWAYS there. Constantly reminding me of my mortality and fucking with my head.<br /><br />So, I had a wonderful whipping and sensory session with my good friend Faerie one time recently, and we were talking about my persistent coughing, to which he thought it could be a nervous cough due to underlying anxiety issues. When he asked me if I had any I could think of, I took a leap of faith and told him about my 'visions', and he told me about the 'Death Cafe'.<br /><br />I spoke to a delightful man via email who had organised it, and he reassured me that I had nothing to be scared of, and gave me the details of the venue. It was in somebodys house this time, being the first one of its kind in the UK, with a hope of getting a venue in future. The offer of tea and cake was there too, which made it hard to refuse. I decided I would go, although I was still terrified of what would come out that day.<br /><br />Upon nearly getting lost on the way there, I came across a beautiful road tucked down the side of Hackney. It was lovely sunny and warm, so I had enjoyed the cycle there from mine - and decided it was a gorgeous day to talk about death in this contrast in the weather.<br /><br />I was welcomed by the host, and we all introduced ourselves. Everybody seemed very outgoing and friendly, which comforted me, as well as the fact one of my friends was there - the very same close friend who had suggested I go in the first place. God, I needed that hug when I saw him. <br /><br />So, we were ushered into a vintage dining room with wooden floorboards, to a wonderfully presented table with plates and such laid out. Then, the conversation began. Before I even had time to let it sink in, I had started to well up. That's what's so bizarre about my relationship with death - I'm so scared of it, I can't even think about it without being reduced to tears, so sitting here with all these people openly chatting about their past experiences with it made me instantly emotional. It's not something I have ever been open about before either - something came up in discussion about how our British Society has quite a stiff upper lip regarding this subject, and talking about it upsets others so we should just shut up. <br /><br />There were times where I felt like I was going to walk out before it was even my turn to speak.<br /><br />Then it came to my turn - and why I was here. I told the group of 7 or so about my 'visions' - the moment I had done, I broke down. It felt awful, and I carried on talking through my tears, telling of not wanting sympathy because it was something I couldnt control, and warned of possible further outbursts later on in the session - my coping mechanism of trying to declare my problems are tiny in comparison. But this was a place where people questioned me instead of making me feel like I couldnt talk about it, they were drawing it out of me instead- bringing more of the food for thought to the table. I learned ALOT about myself, and here are some of the key points, which could be life changing to me.<br /><br /><br />Q.) How do I deal with scary death-like situations in real life?<br />A.) I take control, and deal with them head on. Like when Fiona (my mother) got liver cancer, and I held everyone together and became the driving force the day she had her liver transplant, or the time my house caught fire and nearly killed me and my gf when we were 19 and I just woke up and sorted it out and put the fire out, without thinking about it.<br /><br />Q.) Do I have any phobias?<br />A.) Yes, I have a phobia of shock tactics on TV and in real life.<br />(To which somebody pointed out my phobia sounds the same as my visions, and perhaps it's connected to my phobia of shock rather than my fear of death?)<br /><br />These two revelations on their own were INCREDIBLY helpful, and I have got more from this one session talking to some amazing people, than I would have ever got out of say, a counselling session.<br /><br />At the end of the session, we changed the subject to what we said we had achieved in life, what our obstacles were - this was kind of intended to be said on our deathbed so to speak.<br /><br />It was so freeing to tell a group of strangers my life story, my achievements, hear theirs, and all share praise and thanks. We were then asked to place all the obstacles into an envelope, along with some of the fears of death we had written on pieces of card earlier, and they were ritually burned in a ceremony accompanied by some beautiful chanting melodies. We watched everything burn in that fireplace in silence, until there was nothing left. I cried quietly to myself, hoping nobody had noticed. I felt such a symbolic sense of relief watching those 15 years of fear go up in flames.<br /><br />And then I ate cake afterwards, with a cup of tea to ground myself.<br /><br />I can't tell you how much this has helped me, and I feel compelled to sit here on my computer the moment I have cycled home and write down the whole experience, so I will never forget it, and never forget what those kind people have said, and try to not forget their faces on a day that will sit with me for years to come.<br /><br />Perhaps the memorable day that I changed, and started on my path to 'letting go'.<br /><br /><br />Faerie can be reached at his website<br /><a href="http://londonfaerie.co.uk/">www.londonfaerie.co.uk</a><br /><br />and The Death Cafe can be found at<br /><a href="http://deathcafe.com/">www.deathcafe.com</a>One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-14681579284475466712010-12-01T15:00:00.000-08:002010-12-01T15:17:15.567-08:00My New Dirty LifeWell... I am having an excellent time living as myself right now...<br /><br />Wandering through scenes that might have only been in my fantasies this time three years ago...<br />Walking through bedrooms in other's houses watching a mess of bodies fluidly embrace each other...<br />Wading through my lists of costumes I have to construct/purchase every month...<br /><br />It's an utter delight.<br /><br />I am especially proud to be part of the Crew that supports the upkeep of After Pandora and Kinky Salon respectively.<br /><br />Never have I met such Wonderful Queer OpenMinded People - people who want to make a different space to the ones offered in the mainstream Kink World, to have a space where people can express themselves liberally and positively. It fills me with joy and pride every time I attend one of these events. It also fills me with beautiful memories the next morning when I wake with my boyfriend in my arms... with the smell of bodies lingering on my skin, and the warmth of my new friendships somehow making my love for this world and my boyfriend's stronger than ever.<br /><br />Recently, I played with a close friend. I was amazed by how submissive I was with him. Initially, I felt a little worried when we had arranged it, as even though I trust him, I did not really know of his strengths and weaknesses in this area. <br />But it blew me away - having the Breast Bondage done and being blindfolded and lead around the room by ropes from my chest by him was possibly one of the kinkiest and subby-est moment of my life to date. I felt so vulnerable in my pvc heels, teetering around the room, stumbling and being caught as I drifted across floorboards under his command. I was left in a dreamlike state for hours afterwards in his living room, with cuts and bruises on my back from my beatings - and a grin from ear to ear.<br /><br />I have also found out that my boyfriend is flourishing in these environments. Its beautiful to see him blossom and our trust for each other grow into something exquisite. One evening recently, at a Japanese Themed event at AP, he literally went up to a beautifully curvy and sexy lady, and told her that I was 'too shy' to ask her to play with me... OMG! That moment alone, those words from his mouth meant more to me than he will ever fully understand. And the play... well, that was unforgettable too. <br /><br />So, heres to looking forward to the next Kinky Salon London, the next party in line.<br /><br />My costume is ready and waiting, and I know this one is going to be mega special to see out the year 2010.<br /><br />xxx Miss Matrix. xxxOne Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-28603789011621074812010-07-02T06:16:00.000-07:002010-07-02T07:08:30.314-07:00Performance ArtI have been an animator/film maker/editor my whole life - and never really felt that I could take being <span style="font-style:italic;">infront</span> of the camera.<br /><br />But, recently, I've had a few comments from performance artists and friends who don't neccessarily agree with my ethos. <br /><br />Firstly, I created a video where I had acted out a song with two versions of myself - man and woman - interacting with each other about 3 weeks ago, and then putting both shots on the screen simultaneously to give the illusion 'we' were 'both' there at the same time. I had to act to a degree within this video, and have had lots of positive feedback. Also, I make a series of sketches with some likeminded funny friends, and never act infront of the camera, but decided this time that I would try and not laugh while delivering an idea I had for a sketch. It worked rather well - and again, lots of positive compliments. <br /><br />Then, I made the below video, and I would say this is my first stab at performance art, which I am rather proud of.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/SreSkjwi90k&hl=en_GB&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/SreSkjwi90k&hl=en_GB&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />This got me thinking... perhaps I need to venture out into performance, as well as being behind the scenes? As a child, I'd always been angry with the decision of my teachers not to allow me to do both <span style="font-style:italic;">Art</span> AND <span style="font-style:italic;">Drama</span> as options as secondary school, as they were both 'art' subjects (arseholes), so I never got to fully spread my wings with acting/dance, and instead concentrated on my artwork all the way to University.<br /><br />I would like to do the following things, and really put my heart into them, so if anyone has any ventures involving <span style="font-weight:bold;">Burlesque</span>, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Performance Art</span> or some degree of <span style="font-weight:bold;">DIY Acting</span> or <span style="font-style:italic;">Queer Porn</span>, please get in contact with me. <br /><br />In the mean time, i'll be trying to deduce my own ideas to play with, and carry on filming myself...One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-82024239931181325962010-06-25T13:52:00.000-07:002010-06-25T14:01:40.059-07:00Girls... girls... girls...?Ok, so recently I got to thinking about why I had been with women exclusively for ten years, and why this is now my first boyfriend.<br /><br />This thought was born out of a conversation between my partner and I, after we'd established my last two relationships were communication car-crashes.<br /><br />I explained to him that since I was a young girl, i'd observed that other girls seemed to have all the qualities I longed for in a partner - affectionate, sensitive, laidback, creative, expressing their personalities openly etc. That, and they had <span style="font-style:italic;">killer</span> bodies.<br /><br />I said as I grew up, I thought all men were (generally speaking) the same. (NB, this was a teenage thought, roughly 15 years old.). I'd seen men being macho, intimidating, insensitive, demanding, opressing, sometimes aggressive, and this all scared me. Frankly - penis's did too.<br /><br />So I had started on a journey looking for these qualities that I thought I would only find in women, but actually ended up being with two women who were very masculine... and although I found them extremely attractive, didn't like the mannerisms of men that they tried to emulate (and often overcompensate for). <br /><br />Respectively, it took for me to be with women for ten years to find out that all men aren't as bad as I had initially thought. My boyfriend holds all the listed qualities of the above perfect women for me, and he's not gay. <br /><br />Fuck stereotypes.<br /><br />(But i'm still 80% into women... come on men, i'd be mad not to hey!!!)One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-72249282839865874192010-06-25T03:52:00.000-07:002010-06-25T13:52:47.876-07:00The Queer Scene... After Pandora and Kinky SalonHello world. <br /><br />It's been a while.<br /><br />I am here to announce I am one happy queer femme - with my boyfriend, and also my involvement in two different queer play party's - full of performers, creatives, visual designers, singers, pretty boys and girls and intellectuals. <br /><br />I have had a full year's break from 'the scene' in general - all the fetish clubs which seemed <span style="font-weight:bold;">so competitive</span> to me, since i'd broken up with my last partner. I was sick of being told I wasn't a 'proper submissive' in clubs i'd been to before, and also sick of seeing a 'really good domininatrix' being dubbed as 'good' purely on her being really cruel - rather than based on her skill. I am now happy to have started a clean page, and bring my also new clean slate of a vanilla boyfriend to explore this new laidback, fun and creative scene as we explore it fresh together.<br /><br />These two places in particular are being held dear to my heart. It has injected a new enthusiasm into my veins, and made me realise that there wasn't only the mainstream fetish scene in my immediate grasp. There is somewhere I can go where sex and play doesn't need to be heady and serious, competitive or like a porno and full of ideals - but where it can be playful, interesting, unique and friendship forming. I loved the idea of having a social beforehand... meeting and greeting and flirting with the crew who will attend. This made it more comfortable and intimate for me - even though it was something that made me so nervous in the beginning, being used to a faceless crowd of people I didn't know and didn't care about. I have formed strong bonds with some of the gang, and even helped out on a few occasions making me feel like i'm really part of something.<br /><br />My boyfriend also enjoys himself there, and I am wishing that I was introduced to the scene in the nice gentle way that he was... not that i'm jealous or anything. ;)<br /><br />Long live After Pandora and Kinky Salon... !<br />http://afterpandora.com/<br />http://kinkysalonlondon.co.uk/One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-20312184613357445562010-03-27T04:00:00.000-07:002010-03-27T04:30:49.536-07:00Looking Straight - Being QueerI woke up this morning, infused with anger, after having quite a vivid dream.<br /><br />I had been invited to a Queer Ballroom type affair - lots of performances, debauchery, and gigs all wrapped up into one celebration of queer diversity and pride. I turned up with my partner, who in real life is now a queer bio-guy. He has led a mainly straight life, but his mind has been opened up considerably since meeting me, and I can definatly say he is queer without a shadow of a doubt - he is not like other men, and I wouldnt have given up my string of women over a 10 year period as primary partners if he hadnt been different. In any case, in this dream, we saw a group of mates (old timers from school) and ran up to them - shouting 'gaaaayyyy' enthusiastically for some reason, but probably the type of thing we'd do in real life anyways, because that seemed to be the whole premise of the night.<br /><br />We then entered the ballroom hall, and there was dancing from transguys/girls, stripshows, and also stand up comedy where people were being picked on for pranks and humiliation, all in good faith. For some more charity raising, this very obese lesbian (who reminded me of someone from Emmerdale), started to strip infront of us at our little round table, with a spotlight highlighting us. I really wasnt interested, because I didnt find her maginally attractive, but my partner was holding his cock the whole time through his trousers grinning, as she got compleletly naked and gyrated herself all over him. I kept gestering over in the sarcastic way I usually do when I dont appreciate something, in a 'you enjoying this?' sort of a way, and he rolled his eyes back at me, like he was just enjoying the attention and playing up to the crowd. I thought it was funny. But then I realised this girl was really trying to humiliate him infront of everyone, but I didnt really care because thats the sort of thing you expect from nights like this, and as long as we werent actually made fun out of in a degoratory way infront of the crowds - I didnt care. <br /><br />I had to leave briefly and go to the ladies, and when I got back, my partner was looking back at me, quite irritated, I asked him 'what happened?' and he replied 'I'm quite pissed off actually.' 'Why?' 'Well, that chick who took off allof her clothes just told me that we were wrong to use the word 'gaaaaaay' out of context around all these other queer people when we were coming in, and although queers appreciate people who are 'different' and welcome diversity, we were being offensive.' 'WHAT??' I grunted. 'Oh My God, I have to say something to that bitch, thats well out of order.' As I said this, the large woman in question came over, and was doing her comic routine. She stood next to us and said 'Now let me tell you a BULLSHIT story about straights...' and gestered at us. <br /><br />I stood up, and leaned into the microphone.... 'Well, i'd like to talk to you about that actually...' 'Why don't you do that then??' 'Ok, well would you rather everyone heard over the mic?' 'Fuck yeh, this'll be funny!' So I grabbed the mic, and said 'Ok, now let me tell you a BULLSHIT story about people who ASSUME people are straight. For your information, I am queer, and my boyfriend is queer, and I dated women for 10 years of my life. I can't believe you stand here taking your clothes off and making jokes in the name of queer politics, when you yourself are the most illinformed judgemental person I have ever met, enough to ASSUME myself and my partner are STRAIGHT and caused offence to gays/queers earlier. You are a shame to us all, and I hope you are proud of yourself that your attempt to humiliate us by trying to insinuate that we used the word 'gay' out of context earlier, like a white person might use the N word, was completely inappropriate. Shocking. Now try making that into a joke.'<br /><br />I then woke up, and felt I had to get this all down on my blog before I forgot the dream completely.<br /><br />Now, its quite an interesting symbolic dream for me, especially with the emotions I had when I woke up. I have dealt with people my whole life judging me from the straight world for being queer, and ridiculed in the street for holding hands with transguys/girlfriends etc. But now, I find myself being able to kiss my partner in the street, hold his hand in public, and show affection without being taunted.... and there is no act of rebellion in it. No message. Infact, I feel the message is sadder, because it has taken me dating women for 10 years to see that society leaves you alone when you look and act straight- theres nothing 'wrong' if you're straight. It's not something i'm used to. And i'm not straight, I just 'look' straight, which infuriates me in some ways, as it strips me of some of my identity. A part of my queer femme self has been angered by this feeling - not being looked at in the street, not being whispered about, not feeling like I am doing my bit to disprove the watching public that queer people are disgusting, is kind of upsetting. Instead, I actually feel like I am more 'queer' than ever. <br /><br />It's an interesting issue.One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-37555460025501560072010-03-24T04:20:00.000-07:002010-03-24T04:24:27.106-07:00I Love You Philip MorrisWhen i started seeing the adverts strewn all over the sides of London buses, all I could think of was 'I love You Jim Carrey,' and couldnt care less what the film was going to be about to be honest- I was prepared to go and spend my money on his credentials alone - being a big fan. <br /><br />So imagine my suprise when I find out that this film is a <strong>HOM - COM</strong>!<br /><br />Wow, a new genre perhaps?? A new concept? Rarely had I seen, if ever, a film which looked at Homosexuality in anything other than a deep, emotional, dramatic light. To deal with this issue lightheartedley made me think 'my god, society <em>has</em> changed.' So i hopped, skipped and jumped to my local picture house, hoping that this film was going to be a diamond in the rough.<br /><br />And BOY I wasn't disappointed!<br /><br />I wont spoil anything here - because the story itself is impeccable and awesome - <br /><br />Jim Carrey plays a con-man who likes to escape prison and make money anyway he can. <br /><br />Ewan McGregor plays a coy shy guy who doesnt like to get into any trouble. <br /><br />Oh yeah, <em>and they're gay lovers</em>. <br /><br />What is remarkably beautiful about this film is that they play this soooo well. Especially and suprisingly - Ewan is amazingly believable, soft and genuine with his character. They kiss, they show affection, they display unconditional love for each other, all without the usually identifiable stereotypes of being 'camp' or OTT. It was very brave for two straight actors to approach this role with such panache and plausability, enough for you to be carried through the story totally engrossed in their roles. It was believable, goregously performed, and one of my favourite films of 2010.<br /><br />Go see it, girls guys and queers. You won't regret it.One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-41409172862346462652009-11-23T16:11:00.000-08:002009-11-23T16:18:14.610-08:00Freelance AnimationOk, I've taken a degree in Animation.<br /><br />Yet every advertisement I see for Animation, is unpaid.<br /><br />Why is it, that everyone out there, seems to think that Animation is a piddly piss easy task, and that we can just do it for free all the time?! I tell you, apart from being a surgeon, it is one of the most labourious and time consuming jobs anyone could ever undertake.<br /><br />STOP TAKING THE MICHAEL!!!One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-53594085426911273762009-10-08T14:57:00.000-07:002009-10-08T15:09:54.488-07:00Professional DominationSo, after years of being a 'natural submissive', and also parting from 2 different partners in the past 10 years who were very rigid in their topping of me, I have finally freed my wings to experiment with domination.<br /><br />It first came to me when I started dating my current Bio-BF - a new and exciting prospect for me, as this is something I have never done before, considering my Golden Dyke status was untarnished before. But this Bio-BF is ALSO submissive, which is a complete role reversal for me. Its interesting what life throws at you sometimes - to say ive been thrown in the deep end is an understatement. My bf is a newbie to the SM Fetish world too, so I have been guiding his hand slowly through this tangled dirty world. Surfice to say, there are some things he doesnt like, and hes NOWHERE near as kinky as me. He was Vanilla before I twisted his pretty little mind. But, he is very liberal and open minded, and this pleases me.<br /><br />Anyways, back to the Headed Point...<br /><br />I have been offered up an idea by a good close queer femme friend of mine, to enter into the world of professional domination - ie put up an advert on a website and see what wealthy businessmen seek our services to beat, whip, restrain and humiliate them - without the droll of sexual intercourse, which I am NOT interested in performing, ie sexworking. This is a different idea entirely.<br /><br />So, I must say I am extremely excited and nervous simultaneously.<br /><br />Firstly, I am a novice at Domination, but have always wanted to see that side of me creep out and have never had partners who have made me feel like I have the confidence to carry out, as well as the fact I have had too many feelings under my skin for them and in doing so felt I didnt want to hurt them emotionally so didnt hurt them physically - im sure some people can relate to me on that one out there.<br /><br />I have been to Pedestal and thoroughly enjoyed the experience, and could feel my confidence brimming, and my persona entering another realm. I am sexually excited also by this prospect as it means I can let go of some of the BDSM tendencies that I wish to have with my BF which he doesnt like, and take it out on complete strangers instead, and this will do very nicely.<br /><br />Getting paid to beat up rich businessmen? Why ever not...One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-68375600342699515502009-05-29T02:50:00.000-07:002009-06-05T04:38:28.851-07:00Pedestal!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn33uGAPC3KX4hN-66ZtfTTX2NWE8DVl6efNF8xf_eMM4ysMLg1XoneQfQwAQz-o4lRMRIOsz0IvJK_pyQNHYe721JWxv9PtZ_JGT0gnugvWAsKvCAk699CTNPWcor5Mqru6TwfIoCkp68/s1600-h/me,+gosia+and+sandra+at+pedestal.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 258px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn33uGAPC3KX4hN-66ZtfTTX2NWE8DVl6efNF8xf_eMM4ysMLg1XoneQfQwAQz-o4lRMRIOsz0IvJK_pyQNHYe721JWxv9PtZ_JGT0gnugvWAsKvCAk699CTNPWcor5Mqru6TwfIoCkp68/s320/me,+gosia+and+sandra+at+pedestal.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343806480837503330" /></a><br />May I start by saying this is the best club I have EVER been to - Fetish or otherwise. <br /><br />I entered feeling like a Princess, and left feeling like a Goddess. <br /><br />For someone who identifies mainly as a submissive, this was quite an achievement.<br /><br />Upon walking into the main bar area, I was greeted with a Rose, from a House Slave who knelt before me, addressing me as 'Mistress.' I smiled gratefully, and then got changed into my UnderBust Satin Stilett Corset, Leather Pencil Skirt, PVC High Heels, Fascinator Top Hat with Lace, Lace Fingerless Gloves, and Lace Halterneck Top. <br /><br />Myself, and my 3 female friends, all sat by the beautiful view of the Thames nearby, perfectly illuminated in the night with twinkling London lights, while a male submissive with a Gimp Mask offered to be our 'foot stall.' We all laughed and admired our pretty high heels shoes and thigh high industrial boots on his back as he lay flat on the ground with his face in the floor. <br /><br />Then, after gathering my nerves and having my first drink, we ventured into the main room. So much equipment to behold! Horses, Grope Boxes (which looked like small aquariums for human slaves), a Trampling Cage with submissives lining it's floor, and many other contraptions to delight the female Dominas.<br /><br />Then there was the Goddess Room - which bore a sign stating 'No men may speak until spoken to in this room.' This amazed me! I walked in to find gorgeous red velvet chairs in all corners of the room, 'stages' where men were only permitted to kneel, and different degrees of flagellation with varying cries from tormented men coming from all sides. There I had a tantric massage from a lovely guy in a Loin Cloth called 'Steve' (which instantly made me laugh- an inside joke for those of you who watch Flight of the Conchords). He spoke of Web Design and common computer based interests with me (seeing as he was paid to be there, and not a common submissive), while he gave me an <span style="font-weight:bold;">incredible</span> massage, and cracked bones I didnt know I had into place in my shoulders and back. I felt so amazing afterwards! My female friends had a spiritual massage, with feathers and roses and oils. <br /><br />Then, after my relaxing session, I sat at one of the red velvet chairs and a slave came to my side within 5 minutes. He offered his services to relieve me of my shoes and my tired feet. I happily accepted. He removed my shoes for me, stroked my feet, then massaged them- and then I gave him permission to kiss and suck. When he was done, I asked him to be my foot stall, and then watched Ms Furian whip a sub in a gimp mask by the end of my feet, which was a joy to watch.<br /><br />We walked around the club some more, and came across a wonderfully playful scene. Two Jamaican Curvacious Dominas were whipping a white submissive on a horse, in the main dance room, dancing to a Justin Timberlake remix and having a great time, occassionaly grabbing his head and commanding him to 'stay down.' I turned to Ms Furian and said 'My my! Were here for all the wrong reasons! We could happily stand here and watch beautiful women dominate men all day.' She chuckled and agreed, and kissed me. <br /><br />Red Collared Male submissives walked around with free Canopes on silver platters, offering them to the Female Dominas only, and Malboro Cigarettes served to women who were smoking outside. Was there nothing these guys hadnt thought of?! <br /><br />The rest of the evening consisted of me walking around the club, watching and learning, having men kneel before me kissing my feet, hands, legs, and complimenting me, and not being able to sit down for a submissive coming to me on his knees to relieve my tired feet of my heels and rub the soreness away. I have never managed to wear heels for such periods of time - to have my feet repaired so quickly and then walk around again pain free. It was an experience I will never forget. I even had a chance to use the Trampling Cage, with Miss Suzanne, and we swang around on the hanging ropes together, treading on mens faces, chests, stomachs and groins - with the subs revelling in every minute of it. <br /><br />I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and certain visions will stay with me forever (such as the Human Pony wandering through corridors with women mounted on his back, and the Transvestite in the Groping Box with his hard-on sticking out of his lace panties for all the women to see), and I have never left anywhere in my entire life feeling so elated, libterated or as confident as I did when I left Pedestal. I found the clear cut dynamics very interesting, and felt comfortable enough to explore my Top side in an atmosphere where you could reject a man if you wished and not feel any pressure to bow to anyones commands. I felt adored, worshipped, beautiful, feminine, elegant and in tune with my assertiveness. I would throughly recommend going there to network, be adored, and feel like a Queen - even if you didnt even have to raise a Flogger to anyone. Like me. <br /><br />Miss Trix.One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-58735911095147198622009-04-08T04:58:00.000-07:002009-09-10T08:09:01.902-07:00FailedI have deleted this post, because I have upset someone with it.<br />I never meant to cause any hurt, I simply wanted to find some peace in myself and release some pain by writing it all out. I dont think I wrote anything slanderous or horrific - I just think perhaps the truth hurt after reading it, and some people are more private than I am...<br /><br />We both failed. Nothing else matters.<br />People break up all the time.<br /><br />I am sorry I offended you.<br /><br />I hope we can be friends... <br /><br />Miss Ana MatrixOne Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-19831921321266672552009-04-05T05:16:00.001-07:002009-04-05T05:16:46.338-07:00QuestionIs it possible for a gay girl to be bi-curious? lol.One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-30512136866296545982009-04-05T04:58:00.000-07:002009-04-05T05:14:08.405-07:00G20 Protest - 2009A video I made about my experience of the Reclaim The Streets Protest, on 4th April 2009, Bank of England.<br /><br />The day started off quite peacefully, with the march from Moorgate (one of 4) being a relaxed affair, people walking up the street towards Bank using loadhailers to get across their political messages. The crowd was mixed - eco warriors, free Palestine demonstrators, financial crime haters, jobless civilians fighting for answers and black bloc anarchists. <br /><br />Threadneedle St started to get packed as early as 12:30pm, with police throwing smoke bombs into crowds for no apparent reason, riot cops trying to force crowds back in on themselves in an effort to 'contain' them, and beating people up with trunchens the minute the protestors got too close. <br /><br />The police barracaded tens of thousandsof people into Bank, with all five roads leading out of the junction being controlled by scores of police on horses, with riot shields, helmets and batons. At one point when filming, I was pushed though the crowd of riot police, and was lucky to have escaped with only an elbow to my face. <br /><br />Later on, we went to Climate Camp. This section isnt covered in my film, as by then my battery had ran out, but it started as a peaceful protest in the middle of Bishopsgate (right next to Liverpool Street), where a few thousand people had set up tents, occupying the main road completly, playing music, and handing out free food to hungry demonstrators. However, after a few hours, the police started to infringe on this peace, and began to move in on the crowds, blocking us in from both sides, and also blocking the other thousands of protestors who were a couple of streets away on Threadneedle St from being able to reach us. The police were shitting themselves really, but made up for their fear by hitting people who were sitting down in protest, and not letting anybody out for over 4 hours <br /><br />By around midnight, we were set free. Shouting 'we are not prisoners', me and my friends walked all the way home from Liverpool Street to Dalston.<br /><br />13 Hours of Protest. <br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gRVML5sm0BE&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gRVML5sm0BE&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-53293078043590612072008-12-02T06:45:00.000-08:002008-12-02T06:46:46.827-08:00London InkWell, it's been a while since ive posted.<br />Not only have I moved house, but also become a mini celebrity.<br /><br />20,880 hits so far on youtube, and counting. :)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PeGCkKWD3CE&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PeGCkKWD3CE&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-58646292345549836012008-11-05T06:29:00.002-08:002008-11-05T06:32:30.553-08:00Nasty Dirty Gumtree<strong>I asked for a Cash In Hand job on Gumtree<br />This is the reply I get...</strong><br /><br /><br />Hi, i am looking for a girl to come to my home in Battersea and watch porn movies with me.<br /> <br />I will pay you £40 cash for one hour. Interested?<br /><br />RoyOne Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-25474020604380225152008-11-04T06:56:00.000-08:002008-11-04T07:29:54.062-08:00Halloween : When London Let Me Down<strong>Monday</strong> - Sat down, put pen to paper and designed costume for Halloween. Got excited about being a squatterbitch black cat.<br /><br /><strong>Wednesday</strong> - Made Black Leather Cat Ears (out of old leather coat). Leather was so tough that needle had to be rammed through material by pushing it with the force of a chair. Took an hour, and my fingers hurt. <br /><br /><strong>Thursday</strong> - Ran out and bought Dita Knickers with attached suspenders from Ann Summers, and pvc fingerless gloves. I was getting wet at the thought of dressing like a cat, complete with ripped stockings and bushy black and white tail.<br /><br /><strong>Friday</strong> - Spent 2 hours applying bruise makeup, collar bone shadows, sewing Cat Ears to my dreadlocks, ripping up stockings and painting alleycat scratches onto the exposed skin surfaces, painting a nose and whiskers on my face with liquid eyeliner, and then setting out into the night with a lack of anything material based covering my body, on the frosty streets of Halloween : London. <br /><br />Arrived at 'Sin', on my way to Club Antichrist (where it usually is). Wasnt sure what to expect from a straight 'Fetish, Goth and Industrial' Playspace, complete with Dungeon and stage performances, but was willing to give it a go. Except - it wasnt at Sin. POPSTARZ was at Sin. Tried to find an internet cafe, tried to text friends who were also out, tried to find SOMETHING that was free. To no avail. Nobody responded to my texts. Felt unloved and gutted... :(<br /><br />Freezing, hungry, sober and numb, we returned home... <br />Our only consolation was some slow fucking in my warm bed. <br />No matter... we have tomorrow to look forward to...<br /><br /><strong>Saturday</strong> - Woke up - let down, but energised. Left at 10pm. The biggest squat party of the year, 'ScumoWeen', was happening tonight. Eager to go and happy to try and salvage the weekend I celebrate the most, we set off (after getting into my cat costume for the second time). Got to Dalston. NOBODY was at the squat. I still hadnt recieved any texts. I turned off my phone, smashed it against the floor, and turned it on again. 11 TEXTS HAD ALL BEEN WAITING TO ENTER MY PHONE FROM CYBERSPACE. Flabberghasted, I saw there were texts from the friends i'd had written to directing me to a party etc, making me feel even more miserable. I had a text saying there was a free gig on Church Street. We went down there. IT HAD FINISHED. No matter - we went back to Dalston. It was raining and cold. The squatters turned up at 1am. We left at 2am. Called partyline for Scum-O-Ween - party was on....<br /><br />HANGER LANE... >:(<br /><br />Fucking hell. Journey planner said 2.5 hours.<br />We said 'ok, lets do it, it'll be amazing.'<br /><br />38 to Angel, 205 to Baker Street, N18 to Hanger Lane.<br />20 min walk to industrial estate.<br /><br />2.5 hours later from when we had set off, we were there.<br />All MDMA'd up, high as a kite, and (suprisingly) in good spirits.<br /><br />IT WAS LIKE A MOB. FULL. WAS NOW A LOCK IN.<br />There were CROWDS of people saying they'd been queuing for over <strong>4 HOURS</strong>. We tried to find a back entrance, we tried to climb over walls, but nothing worked. Not only that - but you had to pay TEN QUID to get in, as well as there being <strong>7 FUCKING SOUND SYSTEMS IN ONE ROOM???!!!</strong><br /><br />Defeated, cold, 5am - we left.<br /><br />Back to the squat, another 2 hours later. Hungry, tired... having spend Halloween on the buses, in full costume, all weekend.<br /><br />NEVER GO TO SCUMOWEEN.<br />ITS FUCKING BULLSHIT. <br />NOTE TO SELF AND EVERYONE ELSE.<br /><br />Dont just take my word for it...<br />http://www.partyvibe.com/forums/chatter/33816-scumoween.html<br /><br />The weekend that London Let Me Down. *cries*One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-47892465662459077242008-10-17T07:38:00.000-07:002008-10-17T07:46:36.513-07:00My Dream About Energy EfficiencyOn my long painful lonely journey back frm Dalston last night on a quiet double decker bus at 3:30am, I began to fall asleep...<br /><br />I dreamt of light and energy - maybe a combination of the passing hazy road side lamps as well as the glint of the buses own internal lights in my retinas - and my dreams woke me.<br /><br />My head leaning on the window, my eyes slowly opening, and I noticed the endless light pouring from the side streets, high streets and alleyways. It was 3:30am - so why on earth were all the lights on in EVERY SINGLE SHOP?? Starbucks, Pret, Argos, Cafe's. Each and every shop - with full use of their electricity, as if in use during the day.<br /><br />We are living in a world where consumption of energy needs to be reconsidered to save our planet, and companies are forever advertising that they are 'greener' in a bid to keep existing customers entangled in their web, and also snare new green consumers. <br /><br />SO WHY ARE THEY WASTING ENERGY EVERY NIGHT?<br /><br />Its so hypocritical that there are televised ads telling us at home to 'do our bit' by switching off our lights when not in use. Why has'nt anybody approached big companies like this to do the same?<br /><br />Maybe somebody of importance will read this...<br /><br />Maybe.One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-84864491360985182152008-09-16T09:43:00.001-07:002008-09-16T09:43:40.366-07:00Mr WindTruly AMAZING AND CLEVER advert.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2mTLO2F_ERY&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2mTLO2F_ERY&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-76682834859155494242008-09-11T09:39:00.001-07:002008-09-11T09:39:46.967-07:00ZeitgeistIf you have 2 hours free, watch this.<br /><br />Its the most incredible, eye opening film I have EVER watched.<br /><br />The Revolution is Now. <br /><br />http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/main.htmOne Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-28549773516773332602008-09-10T07:25:00.001-07:002008-09-10T07:25:27.211-07:00'Nude' - By Radiohead. (My Version)After posting about the 'Nude' remixes for Radiohead competition, I decided to create one of my own. It is not remixed, but this song has been embedded in my thoughts for so long that I felt like I needed to vent it out somehow.<br /><br />So gathering all my creative energy, I made the first video project that was purely for me, not influenced by or for anybody else. That evening, I felt unhindged and wanted to express myself fully. To not feel restricted by what others thought made a 'good video', or what my target audience was. <br /><br />Amid all of my freelance, it felt so liberating to do something FOR ME. <br /><br />So here it is, in all its edited and strangely performed glory. I am proud of it because it is pure expression, and something which I feel reflects my personality deeper than anybody could ever know me, EVER.<br /><br />It is not vain, nor pretentious, but purely experimental and visionary.<br /><br />Feel free to comment. No matter how irrelevant.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Oyp7KGlYEJ4&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Oyp7KGlYEJ4&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Trixotron. xxOne Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-66084022646046519592008-09-01T01:47:00.001-07:002008-09-01T02:04:10.409-07:00Lady LuckI had a stroke of good fortune recently, and Lady Luck seemed to be stroking my hair lovingly all weekend long...<br /><br />I went to <strong>So High Soho</strong> on Saturday (best shop in Central London, <em>really</em> <strong>fit</strong> girls, sell's plugs/spirals and costumes), and I put down on the counter = <br /><br />a Black Star Plug (10mm)(Laser cut through the middle) worth £10, <br />a V shaped laced gothic wrist cuff, worth £5, <br />a selection of Dread Cuffs, worth £4.50,<br />an Ear Cuff (with dangling silver feather), worth £2.50<br /><br />Easily all worth collectively over £20<br /><br />I gave her a £20 note, and she gave me £11 back!! Score!! <br />Only paid £9 for all of that!!<br /><br /><em>THEN</em><br /><br />The next morning, me and my partner went to Crystal Palace, and ate at Cafe Paradou (best Cafe in South East London for fry ups), and ordered:<br /><br />Two full fry ups, at £4.50 each<br />A coke and a Tea, for £1.50 each<br /><br />Easily all worth more than £11.<br /><br />I gave her a £20 note, she gave me £19 back!! Score!!<br />Only paid £1 for all of that!!<br /><br />I quickly walked out, briskly got onto a number 3 to Brixton, and went about my merry way. ;)<br /><br />Hows that for a good weekend?? :)<br /><br /><a href="http://helpgamblers.com/files/2007/11/lady-luck.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://helpgamblers.com/files/2007/11/lady-luck.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-77039722342210987122008-08-26T03:00:00.000-07:002008-08-26T03:34:04.498-07:00Wheels on the Bus<a href="http://www.londonbusroutes.net/photos/JPEGs/176-vla34.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px;" src="http://www.londonbusroutes.net/photos/JPEGs/176-vla34.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />This Bank Holiday Weekend was incredible. Friends, a wonderful attentive and sexually diverse lover, cool events and 8 old mates ALL sleeping in my room - all combined into a sea of drunkness and adventure. It was certainly a spontaneous one, but one to remember.<br /><br />There was, however, ONE incident that seemed to fester at the back of my mind for the most part of it. The 176 bus is never a place I like to visit willingly - lack of money generally decides that for me. But in any case, I was venturing past the borders of Dulwich when this young black fresh-faced girl with a green top, who couldnt have been more than 15, walks up the top deck aisle, and stares at me with unflinching intimidation until she reaches her seat, RIGHT behind me. I could pratically feel her breath down my neck.<br /><br />Shouting on her phone louder than Foghorn Leghorn, she relentlessly blurted into her handset with an overbearing South East accent various aspects of her non-eventful day. My boyfriend sat next to me, with the right idea of putting his headphones in, to drown out the noise. The girl then decided to tell her friend all about ME. My mouth dropped and my fists shook as she ripped into me, so LOUD that everybody on the fucking top deck could hear clearly:<br /><br />"Right yeh - hear 'dis. There's a gal sat 'ere RIGHT infront of me, right, and she's well fucked up. She's got like 4 earrings in her ears yeah, some dutty dreads and some fucked up hairstyle, her fringe is like well fucked- she's got these NASTY tattoo's all over her - she's DISGUSTING. Its making me SICK.... YEAH, innit doh? Shes a fucking DISGRACE."<br /><br />I looked at my boyfriend, who was oblivious to the better part of this bitch's outburst, and I got up, stormed down the top deck aisle, and shot the cunt a dirty look as I walked down the stairs facing her. I COULDNT BELIEVE IT. <br /><br />As a woman who is alternative, queer and flamboyantly dressed, I am used to the odd comment, funny look, double take and even shouted sentence from passers by. I choose to ignore them, knowing that when I chose my style and decided to stretch my ears etc, it was a decision I made along with all of the social consequences. I am NOT USED to people like that little bitch shouting words like 'disgraceful' and 'disgusting' to an entire audience, simply over how I choose to appear. The only reason I didnt turn around to punch her and knock some sense into her ignorant head is because she probably has a willing gang of knife wielding bastards who would hunt my distinctive self down in a second once I'd banged her up. I also hate violence, and try to avoid confrontation whenever possible, so for her to make me feel like that took A LOT of aggravation on her part.<br /><br />My boyfriend did a really good job of holding me and telling me that her life was obviously so meaningless and boring that she felt the need to go around making other people's lives a misery as a form on entertainment, and that her mother must be proud that she <em>dragged</em> up such a little runt. However - I cant help but still feel those comments burn in the back of my mind. It doesnt help when somebody such as myself already has confidence issues.<br /><br />I hope that one day that young girl throws offence like that to somebody else, in another part of London, and they give her <strong>what for</strong> because they dont take ANY shit, or that theyre not as strong as me for holding back. I'd like to see her face when she realises what reactions some people CAN have, and hopefully somebody will teach her a lesson.<br /><br />It makes me sad how young people can live like this on a day to day basis.One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-72296338734301489492008-08-05T05:54:00.000-07:002008-08-05T07:25:09.888-07:00DIY Puppy MaskI've trawled countless of sites to find a cheap one, to no avail.<br /><br />It dawned on me that I wanted to make a DIY Puppy Play mask. The leather kind. One that I can give as a present to my partner, to show my adoration for him, and make him wag his tail.<br /><br />Ive seen the kind that I want, now I just want to try and make it.<br /><br /><a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3161/2709839806_7d4596966c.jpg?v=0"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3161/2709839806_7d4596966c.jpg?v=0" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Its the one on the left, which doesnt look like a Pig...<br /><br />I've thought up a 'net' method which might make it possible to create a similar dog mask, and all I would need is some strong sturdy leather (could cut up an old coat of mine that I never wear), and some poppers to glue onto it with 'Hard As Nails' or some other potent adhesive. Poppers down the back of the mask to enable easy removal ('ripping it off' effect), and also a small hole in the top part of the nose. The 'snout' part of the mask would need to be double layered, as this needs to be strong as possible to keep the shape, so glue would have to be used in between these layers here. Overall, I think I could blag it.<br /><br />Apologies for the 'paint' job (usually i'd sketch), but i'm at work, and wanted to try and show you what I mean, while it's still fresh in my head. So here goes.<br /><br /><a href="http://a492.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/101/l_73401cb3ed0be0ee0f2b5febe0b196db.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px;" src="http://a492.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/101/l_73401cb3ed0be0ee0f2b5febe0b196db.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />The 'net' needs some work, but other than that I think it would be a success - with tweaks while its in constrcution. This was born out of being fed up of looking at sites that charge over £90 for a mask - when I think I could em'bark' on making one myself. :)<br /><br />What do you think? Any suggestions?One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-53766071912299300502008-08-04T09:01:00.000-07:002008-08-04T09:38:58.848-07:00Kylie Minogue - My Idol. (even though i'm a goth)I am amazed with Kylie Minogue.<br /><br />For years I've applauded her existance, appreciated her music videos and the directors she's chosen to work with, and absorbed every style she created to make herself the visual chameleon she has become. It took me some years, however, to fully come to terms with the fact that even though I am goth/punk/alternative/whatever, the truth remains - I am a fan of Kylie.<br /><br />My eyes were opened wide when I found out she had breast cancer. I realised that I loved her more than I'd admitted to myself - I think I cried looking back. Such a pretty face, such a charming artist, such a good actor with so much more to come in her career - somebody who had done no wrong in the media nor offended anybody - it seemed like a cruel trick to play on the world. <br /><br />http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4554035.stm<br /><br />Her show stopped, her hair fell out, she was unrecognisable... It was horrific. She hid from the cameras, got herself treated, and voila, she was back on her feet before we all knew it. Pictures of her with a head scarf, then short hair trying to grow it back after the Chemo made me so upset - I was glued to the papers, watching every headline as she seemed to emerge back on the scene step by step. <br /><br /><a href="http://media.skyshowbiz.com/image/unscaled/2006/4/13/Kylie-Minogue-1397805.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px;" src="http://media.skyshowbiz.com/image/unscaled/2006/4/13/Kylie-Minogue-1397805.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Since then, I have been watching her blossom and bloom into an ever more graceful and grateful artist, becoming more passionate and powerful - having survived and realising how lucky she is to be alive. Getting her Showgirls tour back on track, and making some more pretty amazing music video (2 Hearts and In My Arms are incredible), and also releasing the only documentary/close look of Kylie I have ever seen - White Diamond. It's intensley emotional and deep - if you havent seen it, go watch it.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Te8DDeS0wn0&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Te8DDeS0wn0&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />What I'm trying to say is... she's such a successful artist - the Queen of Reinvention - that i'd like to pay homage to her in this blog, even though it is such a small contribution from one of her trillions of fans.<br /><br />She's SO successful - that she's even got a <strong>goth's</strong> undivided attention.<br /><br />Long Live Kylie. xxxOne Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727719325639624501.post-72960452302998822472008-08-04T05:59:00.000-07:002008-08-04T06:04:25.253-07:00Wings or HandsI glanced up at a Seagull flying high above me, 10am this morning, and wondered...<br /><br />We humans have always wanted wings, but would we be prepared to give up our hands?<br /><br /><a href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/image/s_seagull.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/image/s_seagull.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>One Queer Femme Anatomyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07250461806357409657noreply@blogger.com2