Ok, so recently I got to thinking about why I had been with women exclusively for ten years, and why this is now my first boyfriend.
This thought was born out of a conversation between my partner and I, after we'd established my last two relationships were communication car-crashes.
I explained to him that since I was a young girl, i'd observed that other girls seemed to have all the qualities I longed for in a partner - affectionate, sensitive, laidback, creative, expressing their personalities openly etc. That, and they had killer bodies.
I said as I grew up, I thought all men were (generally speaking) the same. (NB, this was a teenage thought, roughly 15 years old.). I'd seen men being macho, intimidating, insensitive, demanding, opressing, sometimes aggressive, and this all scared me. Frankly - penis's did too.
So I had started on a journey looking for these qualities that I thought I would only find in women, but actually ended up being with two women who were very masculine... and although I found them extremely attractive, didn't like the mannerisms of men that they tried to emulate (and often overcompensate for).
Respectively, it took for me to be with women for ten years to find out that all men aren't as bad as I had initially thought. My boyfriend holds all the listed qualities of the above perfect women for me, and he's not gay.
Fuck stereotypes.
(But i'm still 80% into women... come on men, i'd be mad not to hey!!!)
Friday 25 June 2010
The Queer Scene... After Pandora and Kinky Salon
Hello world.
It's been a while.
I am here to announce I am one happy queer femme - with my boyfriend, and also my involvement in two different queer play party's - full of performers, creatives, visual designers, singers, pretty boys and girls and intellectuals.
I have had a full year's break from 'the scene' in general - all the fetish clubs which seemed so competitive to me, since i'd broken up with my last partner. I was sick of being told I wasn't a 'proper submissive' in clubs i'd been to before, and also sick of seeing a 'really good domininatrix' being dubbed as 'good' purely on her being really cruel - rather than based on her skill. I am now happy to have started a clean page, and bring my also new clean slate of a vanilla boyfriend to explore this new laidback, fun and creative scene as we explore it fresh together.
These two places in particular are being held dear to my heart. It has injected a new enthusiasm into my veins, and made me realise that there wasn't only the mainstream fetish scene in my immediate grasp. There is somewhere I can go where sex and play doesn't need to be heady and serious, competitive or like a porno and full of ideals - but where it can be playful, interesting, unique and friendship forming. I loved the idea of having a social beforehand... meeting and greeting and flirting with the crew who will attend. This made it more comfortable and intimate for me - even though it was something that made me so nervous in the beginning, being used to a faceless crowd of people I didn't know and didn't care about. I have formed strong bonds with some of the gang, and even helped out on a few occasions making me feel like i'm really part of something.
My boyfriend also enjoys himself there, and I am wishing that I was introduced to the scene in the nice gentle way that he was... not that i'm jealous or anything. ;)
Long live After Pandora and Kinky Salon... !
http://afterpandora.com/
http://kinkysalonlondon.co.uk/
It's been a while.
I am here to announce I am one happy queer femme - with my boyfriend, and also my involvement in two different queer play party's - full of performers, creatives, visual designers, singers, pretty boys and girls and intellectuals.
I have had a full year's break from 'the scene' in general - all the fetish clubs which seemed so competitive to me, since i'd broken up with my last partner. I was sick of being told I wasn't a 'proper submissive' in clubs i'd been to before, and also sick of seeing a 'really good domininatrix' being dubbed as 'good' purely on her being really cruel - rather than based on her skill. I am now happy to have started a clean page, and bring my also new clean slate of a vanilla boyfriend to explore this new laidback, fun and creative scene as we explore it fresh together.
These two places in particular are being held dear to my heart. It has injected a new enthusiasm into my veins, and made me realise that there wasn't only the mainstream fetish scene in my immediate grasp. There is somewhere I can go where sex and play doesn't need to be heady and serious, competitive or like a porno and full of ideals - but where it can be playful, interesting, unique and friendship forming. I loved the idea of having a social beforehand... meeting and greeting and flirting with the crew who will attend. This made it more comfortable and intimate for me - even though it was something that made me so nervous in the beginning, being used to a faceless crowd of people I didn't know and didn't care about. I have formed strong bonds with some of the gang, and even helped out on a few occasions making me feel like i'm really part of something.
My boyfriend also enjoys himself there, and I am wishing that I was introduced to the scene in the nice gentle way that he was... not that i'm jealous or anything. ;)
Long live After Pandora and Kinky Salon... !
http://afterpandora.com/
http://kinkysalonlondon.co.uk/
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