Wheels on the Bus

This Bank Holiday Weekend was incredible. Friends, a wonderful attentive and sexually diverse lover, cool events and 8 old mates ALL sleeping in my room - all combined into a sea of drunkness and adventure. It was certainly a spontaneous one, but one to remember.

There was, however, ONE incident that seemed to fester at the back of my mind for the most part of it. The 176 bus is never a place I like to visit willingly - lack of money generally decides that for me. But in any case, I was venturing past the borders of Dulwich when this young black fresh-faced girl with a green top, who couldnt have been more than 15, walks up the top deck aisle, and stares at me with unflinching intimidation until she reaches her seat, RIGHT behind me. I could pratically feel her breath down my neck.

Shouting on her phone louder than Foghorn Leghorn, she relentlessly blurted into her handset with an overbearing South East accent various aspects of her non-eventful day. My boyfriend sat next to me, with the right idea of putting his headphones in, to drown out the noise. The girl then decided to tell her friend all about ME. My mouth dropped and my fists shook as she ripped into me, so LOUD that everybody on the fucking top deck could hear clearly:

"Right yeh - hear 'dis. There's a gal sat 'ere RIGHT infront of me, right, and she's well fucked up. She's got like 4 earrings in her ears yeah, some dutty dreads and some fucked up hairstyle, her fringe is like well fucked- she's got these NASTY tattoo's all over her - she's DISGUSTING. Its making me SICK.... YEAH, innit doh? Shes a fucking DISGRACE."

I looked at my boyfriend, who was oblivious to the better part of this bitch's outburst, and I got up, stormed down the top deck aisle, and shot the cunt a dirty look as I walked down the stairs facing her. I COULDNT BELIEVE IT.

As a woman who is alternative, queer and flamboyantly dressed, I am used to the odd comment, funny look, double take and even shouted sentence from passers by. I choose to ignore them, knowing that when I chose my style and decided to stretch my ears etc, it was a decision I made along with all of the social consequences. I am NOT USED to people like that little bitch shouting words like 'disgraceful' and 'disgusting' to an entire audience, simply over how I choose to appear. The only reason I didnt turn around to punch her and knock some sense into her ignorant head is because she probably has a willing gang of knife wielding bastards who would hunt my distinctive self down in a second once I'd banged her up. I also hate violence, and try to avoid confrontation whenever possible, so for her to make me feel like that took A LOT of aggravation on her part.

My boyfriend did a really good job of holding me and telling me that her life was obviously so meaningless and boring that she felt the need to go around making other people's lives a misery as a form on entertainment, and that her mother must be proud that she dragged up such a little runt. However - I cant help but still feel those comments burn in the back of my mind. It doesnt help when somebody such as myself already has confidence issues.

I hope that one day that young girl throws offence like that to somebody else, in another part of London, and they give her what for because they dont take ANY shit, or that theyre not as strong as me for holding back. I'd like to see her face when she realises what reactions some people CAN have, and hopefully somebody will teach her a lesson.

It makes me sad how young people can live like this on a day to day basis.

DIY Puppy Mask

I've trawled countless of sites to find a cheap one, to no avail.

It dawned on me that I wanted to make a DIY Puppy Play mask. The leather kind. One that I can give as a present to my partner, to show my adoration for him, and make him wag his tail.

Ive seen the kind that I want, now I just want to try and make it.



Its the one on the left, which doesnt look like a Pig...

I've thought up a 'net' method which might make it possible to create a similar dog mask, and all I would need is some strong sturdy leather (could cut up an old coat of mine that I never wear), and some poppers to glue onto it with 'Hard As Nails' or some other potent adhesive. Poppers down the back of the mask to enable easy removal ('ripping it off' effect), and also a small hole in the top part of the nose. The 'snout' part of the mask would need to be double layered, as this needs to be strong as possible to keep the shape, so glue would have to be used in between these layers here. Overall, I think I could blag it.

Apologies for the 'paint' job (usually i'd sketch), but i'm at work, and wanted to try and show you what I mean, while it's still fresh in my head. So here goes.



The 'net' needs some work, but other than that I think it would be a success - with tweaks while its in constrcution. This was born out of being fed up of looking at sites that charge over £90 for a mask - when I think I could em'bark' on making one myself. :)

What do you think? Any suggestions?

Kylie Minogue - My Idol. (even though i'm a goth)

I am amazed with Kylie Minogue.

For years I've applauded her existance, appreciated her music videos and the directors she's chosen to work with, and absorbed every style she created to make herself the visual chameleon she has become. It took me some years, however, to fully come to terms with the fact that even though I am goth/punk/alternative/whatever, the truth remains - I am a fan of Kylie.

My eyes were opened wide when I found out she had breast cancer. I realised that I loved her more than I'd admitted to myself - I think I cried looking back. Such a pretty face, such a charming artist, such a good actor with so much more to come in her career - somebody who had done no wrong in the media nor offended anybody - it seemed like a cruel trick to play on the world.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4554035.stm

Her show stopped, her hair fell out, she was unrecognisable... It was horrific. She hid from the cameras, got herself treated, and voila, she was back on her feet before we all knew it. Pictures of her with a head scarf, then short hair trying to grow it back after the Chemo made me so upset - I was glued to the papers, watching every headline as she seemed to emerge back on the scene step by step.



Since then, I have been watching her blossom and bloom into an ever more graceful and grateful artist, becoming more passionate and powerful - having survived and realising how lucky she is to be alive. Getting her Showgirls tour back on track, and making some more pretty amazing music video (2 Hearts and In My Arms are incredible), and also releasing the only documentary/close look of Kylie I have ever seen - White Diamond. It's intensley emotional and deep - if you havent seen it, go watch it.



What I'm trying to say is... she's such a successful artist - the Queen of Reinvention - that i'd like to pay homage to her in this blog, even though it is such a small contribution from one of her trillions of fans.

She's SO successful - that she's even got a goth's undivided attention.

Long Live Kylie. xxx

Wings or Hands

I glanced up at a Seagull flying high above me, 10am this morning, and wondered...

We humans have always wanted wings, but would we be prepared to give up our hands?